4 weeks: October

Dear Paddycakes,

They say that parenthood is not something anyone can tell you about; that you must experience it for yourself.

Before you were born, I expected this sentiment to be rooted in the inexplicable awe of new life, but now that you are a month old, I know that it actually comes down to sleep deprivation.  New parents just don't remember. They are zombies, living in a blur of diapers, laundry, burp cloths, bottles, and never-ending three hour cycles where days become nights so often and the time disappears quickly that you find yourself saying to each other, "wow the baby is a month old already - how did that happen?!"

Well, for your father and me, it happened like this: you couldn't wait to be born and joined our family two weeks early.  After a very fast labor through the middle of the night and a long four hour delivery, you were born weighing 6lbs 10oz at 9:57am on Wednesday morning September 29th.  From that day till now, I have learned the following things about you:

1. When you are angry, you hold your breath and turn bright red.  Little red half-moons appear where your eyebrows should be.
2. In the last few weeks you have survived a circumcision and your first shot at the pediatrician.  You have also survived us as these fumbling new parents who put you in clothes that are too big because they are easier to get over your head and diapers that are perhaps too large but they were on sale at Costco. 
3. You have unbelievable neck strength - in fact, you may be super-human.  I don't think regular babies can balance their noggins like you can.  You are very advanced.
4. You  have no idea that your hands are connected to your arms and you regularly hit yourself in the head and then look at me in disbelief like I just did that to you.
5. There is nothing you hate more than getting dressed, a wet wipe, a bath or a diaper change.  And since those things are essential to good hygiene, you spend at least half of your day upset at your father and me.  I like to think that the bottles we provide, the unique songs we create out of your name and the fans on the ceiling - (we put those there just for you!) - make up for any torment.  
6. You love to sleep in the sun, which is like your ambien.  When we put your swing in the beams that fall across the floor in the afternoons, your eyes close immediately.
7. You look exactly like your father.  However you do have crooked pinkies and you can wrinkle your nose and raise the right side of your mouth like Elvis when you dislike something, which you get from me. 
8. I know when you are falling asleep because you smile as you drift away to dreamland.  Your "sleep smiles" are how I know I can stop rocking and safely put you in your bed without you waking up.
9. Your father discovered that you like the weight of the herbal neck pillow draped across you when you sleep.  He also discovered that you eat better sitting straight up.  And since your life IS eating and sleeping - its a darn good thing your smart Dad is here!

It may be a tad indulgent to record your every cry and smile with a blog post, but I want to remember the little things.  I like the idea of capturing a piece of you becoming "you." I may never fully be able to explain what it means to have you in our lives, but at least I will have a few observations to share.

You are already an amazing little person, Patrick, and I love you more than I will ever be able to put into words.

Love,
Mom