April 2016: 67 months (5 years and 7 months)

Dear Patrick,

• On the first of April, I had the idea to re-locate the popsicles from the front freezer to the back, and leave an empty box for you to find as a joke. “Let’s tell him that we ate them all,” your dad offered as my co-conspirator, but ultimately we decided that was maybe taking it too far - we didn’t want to be mean; we just wanted to be funny on April Fools Day. In truth, I never really "get" this day, and trying to explain it to you earlier that morning was like the blind leading the blind. A day that gives permission to deliberately trick, lie or fool another - why is this appealing? “Oh, it's harmless - it gives you a chance to laugh at yourself,” a friend told me later, which is fine, I guess, for adults who have a sense of self. But to possibly make a child upset by doubting what they know to be true - it’s just not for me - especially after this experience. As soon as we shouted “April Fools,” into your sad, little face, I knew this was wrong. You tried to smile, but I could tell you were upset. We tricked you - your own parents! We had never done this before. You were disappointed, embarrassed... and then you got mad. You clenched your hand into a little fist and out of pure frustration, you hit my leg. It didn’t hurt, of course, and I actually wasn’t sure if you too were just joking, but your father saw the intent on your face, and all of a sudden, we had another problem. “Don’t you ever hit a woman - I don’t care how mad you are,” your dad said while directing you to sit in the corner. There were a lot of tears and ultimately some good lessons learned for all three of us: respect, self control, mutual kindness, trust is sacred, forgiveness is important, and above all: don’t f&% with your dessert.    
• You read the words: “nip,” “bug” and “tot” off a worksheet from school - you are getting really good at sounding out letters to make words. (You did, however, tell me that “F is for vagina,” so there is more work to do.)
• On Sunday 4/3 you threw the Harry Potter wand that the Cordell family gave you into the trash because apparently Millie had said that it wasn’t real. You explained to me with tears in your eyes, “It’s true - it doesn’t really make spells.” So, I told you that it’s magical as long as you believe in it, and that I believe in magic. I wanted to keep the wand. I’m not ready to let you give up on magic.
• Trying to remember what you had for lunch yesterday, you said, “Hmm... let me read the book in my mind.”
• Big Mitchell enrolled you in tennis lessons on Saturday mornings at 8:30am. He got you the greatest Air Jordan warm up suit! I’m not sure about your skills, but you do look the part.
• More exciting than Santa or the Tooth Fairy, are the “bathroom elves,” who you believe come out of a tiny hole where the tile meets the tub. You told me with a tone of dreamy wonder that you hoped to get to see one.
• All of a sudden this month you are into coloring. You asked to finish a piece of work that you started at school and I had to dig the crayons out of the bottom of the art box where they were banished over Christmas. It’s like a flip switched and you are now a crayola Picasso.
• Pollen kicked up and you began to cough - the kind that we couldn’t help even with extra nebulizer treatments. So the doctor put you on two inhalers for a week this month and we seem to be back to normal.
• Your father officiated the marriage of our friends Matt and Holley Owings this month in Pawley’s Island and he did a great job. You stayed in Greenville with Gangie and Big Mitchell, but you would of been real proud of him - I was.
• You use all the shampoos in the shower to wash yourself. If we aren’t paying careful attention you use ALL. OF. THEM.
• You are hungry this month - like nothing we’ve ever seen before. You ate a whole banana in the hallway on the way to brush your teeth before bed.
• We made a trip to Macon to visit “The Big House” museum and benefit dinner, a gift from Omi and Pop to your Dad. You had your own fun too: you played with Abby Grace, a play date set-up and the two of you solved treasure maps that Omi made. (Clever Omi!) You had dinner downtown (Tom joined), played baseball with Pop, milkshakes galore and “bought” games on Omi’s phone. So when the fun came to an end that Sunday morning, you were naturally sad to leave. And when we wouldn’t let you play the ipad, you pouted. “Patrick, you are unhappy - I hear you - but we are not changing our minds: there will be no ipad right now. It would be more fun to move on and enjoy the morning, but if you must pout - do it in the next room.” And you did. You threw yourself on the couch - you are so tall now that you took up most of it. You laid dramatically head-down into the pillows for almost 40 mins of nothing. No toys, no other people - your own banishment. Eventually you did come back into the room (with a smile no less) and asked for granola. Hunger won. But oh, what a tortured life you lead sometimes - the struggle within.
• You pick out your clothes most school mornings, but the striped shorts paired with the long-sleeved striped shirt and striped socks on 4/28 has been my favorite ensemble this month.
• Your Dad’s new hummingbird guitar arrived in a box big enough for you to stretch out and fit inside, and you asked to be shipped to Oklahoma.
• “Mom, don’t wake Dad up yet - I want a lot of snuggle time with him.”

March 2016: 66 months (5 years and 6 months)

 Dear Patrick,

• This month started with the throw-ups and your stomach bug held us captive the entire day of Saturday March 5th. You hated throwing up (every 40 mins like clock-work), but you seemed to like the Pedialyte rocket popsicles we made, which was helpful. On Sunday you were back to normal and we celebrated with a hike in the fresh air outside Travelers Rest. Tandum for lunch and a game of Connect Four outside at the Swamp Rabbit Brewery made for a nice weekend after all.
• On Tuesday March 8th, I picked you up from school and you said, “I’ve got lots of love to share - its never runs out - just goes pop, pop, pop right in my heart.”
• It was Maeve Satterfield’s third birthday on Friday 3/11 and our families celebrated at Sidewall pizza and ice cream after. We rode home all together in the Satterfield van and you three laughed at the Winnie the Pooh movie playing on the monitor. I wish the trip home was 2 hours long - it was a lot of fun. We have a nice joint family photo together from that evening.
• “If you get a ticket,” you explained to me from the backseat as we drove home from school, “then you have to pay America.”
• At the “Donuts for Dad” event at school, you gave your father a survey you filled out (with your teacher) that told us that your father is 70 years old and likes to work in the yard.
• “Mom, do you want to be President one day,” you asked me. Sure I replied. “Well, you just have to believe and then you are,” you said with an easy shrug.
• After an (accurate) discussion on ages, you observed: “It’s kinda weird: you are smaller than dad but you are bigger [in age] than dad.”
• You had your first airplane flight on Thursday 3/24 as we traveled to Oklahoma to visit Uncle Jono, Aunt Jen and cousin Jack. As soon as the plane lifted into the air, you let out a huge belly laugh. You laughed so hard, the whole plane laughed with you. And when the plane landed, the pilot let you sit in his seat and push buttons on the dashboard. After that amazing experience, I found it interesting that you wanted to “work security” when you grew up. You said this so loudly that one of the TSA agents bent down as we made our way through the line to say, “aim higher, kid.”  
• We had a great time in Oklahoma: you and Jack played together and with all the other kids on the street, who ran in and out of the house like the stars of a sitcom show. There were great meals, the Easter Bunny left huge baskets, pancakes were made, candy was shared, bedtime was relaxed, and there were trips to play video games and to drink icies. You did manage, at one point, to turn on the upstairs treadmill, which sucked your shirt into the belt leaving a scar, but now you have a cool scar (and an odd story!)
• Seeing your eyes darken and tire one night in Oklahoma, I pulled you away from the fun and put you into the bathtub to make a transition towards bed. You were not happy. You could hear the others still laughing in the next room and you said with a tired scowl, “Mom, I do not love you.” And just in case those choice words didn’t communicate your utter disappointment, you declined a hug and kiss too. The next morning, the very first thing you did was climb into our bed and whisper in my ear, “you know I do love you.” Yep, I know, buddy - never doubted for a moment. 
  
  
   

February 2016: 65 months (5 years and 5 months)

Dear Patrick,

• “Mom, come in here. I want to show you something. It will amaaaaze you.”
• Apparently if you throw rocks at school on the playground (even by accident) and Ms Qua mentions it to your Uncle Bunky when he picks you up, it will NOT be “a gum kinda day.”
• You have “singing pants." Opening the multiple zippers on the khaki corduroy pants, allows each pocket to sing - and each zipper pocket makes a different sound. “This is my Base pocket...trumpet...banjo,” I heard you tell your dad. You are like a one man polka band. Sometimes a random shirt pocket might make a sound, but its those pants that really sing.
• You are all of a sudden noticeably taller this month.
• We finished reading the first Harry Potter book on Valentine’s Day and watched the first movie. You loved it! When you asked for book # 2, I drove straight to Barnes and Noble to get it even though it was raining and cold and we were fighting 5 o'clock traffic. You may not get every toy or sweet you want, but books are another story. I will go on record right now to say that you may have every book your heart desires.
• It was a grandparent sleepover on 2/14, which worked out great because your Dad and I had a lovely dinner together (with Bunky too!), and you got to be with your Biggie Valentine.
• “This spell has unicorn skin and orange juice,” you said out-loud as your finger ran down the full text pages of a book that you took off your Dad's nightstand. You sat on the bathroom floor outside the shower door and concentrated on your spells. You looked so cute in your PJs, hunched over the pages with your knees pulled in close to balance all the magic.
• I have picked you up from school maybe twice this month - Michael has gotten you every day! This means that you are on a first name basis with the waitress at the Soda Shop.
• While you are in our shower at night, you like to assemble Close Encounter-like structures out of the various soaps and shampoo bottles. The next morning, I find myself deconstructing your art to put everything back on the shelves.  
• You rock that red turtle-neck like a mini Steve Jobs.
• On Monday 2/22 we hosted a fun happy hour for Michael across the street at his house and paid the Cordell twins to watch nine children (ages 2-7) across the street at our house. “Mom, I was the only one who listened,” you reported later that evening. Poor Kylie and Griffin.
• The Howells took you to Bingo night at Summit Elementary on 2/26 and Austin sent us texts and photos of you walking right up to the stage asking the teachers how it all worked and even pulled the numbers! “No fear,” Austin said. You are gonna own that school in the Fall.
• At the end of the month, Omi and Pop came back to Greenville to hug Michael before he left for DC for his French language training. Don’t worry - you got a lot of attention too: many a chess match was played with Pop and many a “recipe” (combining different juices in the house, which only Omi has the patience to do with you!) was made.
• When your Dad picked you up from school on 2/29, your class was listening to music and you said to him, “I wish mom was here - she would of loved that song.” Your dad asked why in particular and you shrugged saying, “...well, it’s beautiful...and she would of cried.”

January 2016: 64 months (5 years and 4 months)

Dear Patrick,

• Your father asked if you were winning the game of Connect Four against the computer. “Not even a little bit,” you answered without looking up.
• On Saturday 1/9 you came into our room like a ninja and crawled into bed without ever waking us up. But then - despite all those efforts - you said loudly, “I want to get in the middle and I need a pillow.” We humored you with a grumble.  Then we heard you say, “This pillow is hot.” I turned it over (basically in my sleep) and heard you say softly, “Oh, but it’s still not cold enough...”
• We love the game Trouble that Jono & Jen gave us for Christmas and we’ve been playing it after dinner on the weeknights. You have the players, who are Star Wars characters, talk to each other as they pass on the board. Everything about you is social.
• You like to crawl into pillow cases and be carried around the house like a “sack of Patricks.”
• Overheard from the basketball jump castle at the Pavilion as you and Rivers shoot hoops: “Three points for Gryffindor!”
• On 1/15 I asked you to leave your green dinosaur in the car and not take him into school but I assured you that he would be there when I picked you up later that day. You said, “Okay, but tell Dad that you’ll pick me up. Text him. On your phone.”
• As you walk around the house, we hear you humming the theme music from Star Wars to yourself.
• You like to eat the soup that your Dad makes with kale, carrots, potatoes and chickpeas, which is great since I feel like this is finally one dish that gives you good nutrition and we can all eat together. On 1/13 while I was working late, you helped cook that soup and apparently you sounded out the word “stock.” You are beginning to read a few small words. Its very impressive.
• “In this house you can pee in the shower,” you yelled to me from the other side of the glass wall. Thank you, Patrick. It’s good to know the informal rules of your own house.  
• You love to wrestle and you challenge your Dad to wrestling matches often. With me, you call it “hug wrestling” to possibly make it more appealing? On 1/17 Sunday afternoon you asked Spence when he arrived to our house, “Do you want to jump or wrestle?” Those are the two options when you come to play at the Byrds.
• Uncle Bunky arrived Thursday 1/21 before the snow came Friday the next day. We had a long weekend of sled rides and snowball fights. Your dad took you to Summit Elementary and you sled down that huge hill with the other kids in the neighborhood. You had one big crash where another kid took your legs out from under you but you recovered.
• When Michael sent your player “home” during a game of Trouble, you said to your uncle, “Bunky, you broke my spirit.”
• Tom and Charlotte Hope arrived in Greenville on 1/29 and stayed through the weekend with Omi and Pop. Bunky was your roommate - your first real sleepover. And because Tom doesn’t sleep late, he came to get you and carry you back across the street to play that Saturday morning! Charlotte brought you these magnetic disks that create cool shapes when put all together. We had so much fun that we didn’t bathe you for four days - there just wasn’t enough time for boring stuff like that.
• You told me that at school one day you were going to say something that was not nice but then you decided “to keep the words in my mouth.”
• Noticing your Dad’s bare back one morning you asked him, “Is that a tattoo...from dance class?” I couldn’t stop laughing. And you pressed further, “...from ballet dance class?”
• We’re more than halfway through Harry Potter. I like when the three of us pile on the couch in the living room and your dad reads it out-loud before bed. One night you interrupted the reading to say, “You guys are muggles, but I’m magical.” I think so too, Patrick. Very magical.

December 2015: 63 months (5 years and 3 months old)

• Your father and I flew to New York at the beginning of the month to visit Sonny & Katie and we had such a great time. I can’t wait to bring you to NY so that you too can eat great food (soup dumplings), ride the subway, see a show, walk more than expected, learn to cross [the street] and pee when you can - not when you have to, buy street scarves and hats and turn into a rock star (like your dad does). And if you’re really lucky, you can have Uncle Sonny & Aunt Katie with you the whole time to make you laugh and share great memories.
• “Mom, look at me please,” you asked as you were telling me a story. You wanted my full attention and it made me so happy that you knew you were important enough to deserve it. Talk to me, Patrick. I’m listening with my eyes and ears.
• On Thursday 12/10, your father and I took you to have allergy tests done and you are very allergic to dog & cat hair, seasonal pollen and dust mites. So, we’ve encased your mattress, bought new pillows, relocated stuffed animals and other soft blankets to the playroom, begun washing everything weekly with very hot water and have become religious about your inhaler twice a day.
• You starred in Overbrook’s production of “The Littlest Christmas Tree” playing the littlest Christmas tree. Ginny Player told us that you had the hardest time acting sad because you are always a happy kid, laughing in rehearsal. But you nailed it at show time; brought the house down.
• Before Gangie and Biggie left for Oklahoma, we had a Christmas feast at their house and opened presents. Gangie keeps so many wonderful toys are her house for you that every day is like Christmas over there!
• We had a wiry Christmas tree this year with branches sticking out every which way, but every Christmas tree is beautiful with the lights and ornaments. And, for future reference,  in my opinion you can never have too many lights.
• Your dad and Matt Whitehead took you and Rivers out of school over lunchtime to visit with Santa. You were very excited when you got home later that day and told me all about it.  
• You still call a mirror a “mir-ra” and a satellite a “sad-light,” which I absolutely love. How are satellites and mirrors a part of our everyday conversation, you may wonder? Well, you have the biggest imagination I’ve ever seen in a child and you are always inventing things that require sad-lights. Also, your toothbrush has a suction cup on the end, which you enjoy sticking to the mir-ra after brushing in the mornings.
• We have been reading the illustrated version of Harry Potter most nights as a family before you go to bed. It’s a lot of fun for me - I don’t ever want this book to end.
• Omi and Pop stayed in the house across the street for eleven days and we had such a wonderful time all together: dinners here and there, nights out, learning how to play chess and checkers, building stairs in the backyard up the bank, arm wrestling, the skipping game (your invention), icing gingerbread men, learning french, “cookin’ in law” sing-a-longs, holiday decorating and shopping. On Monday 12/21, the street lost power and we ate by candlelight together. You did a little break-dancing as our dessert entertainment.
• You insist that there is a piece called the "electronic pawn" in the game of chess, and that it can pretty much do whatever it wants.
• Elephant went on safari while we were in NY, but Gangie found Elephant’s cousin, who you named LT (Little Truck) and he came to live with us. He’s a great new friend.  
• “I do not like crayons,” you informed everyone in the room after opening a gift from Santa at Omi and Pop’s house. The look on your face was pure agony and disgust. However, the Lego boxes made up for it.
• You asked Santa for a skateboard that you now ride around the house on your stomach.
• We drove to Shreveport Louisiana for New Year’s with the Richards (11 hours)! You loved the road trip adventure: watching downloaded movies on the iPad, jumping on the hotel beds and swimming in the indoor pool. And once we got there, you and Ginny were together for almost four days straight. We took you to see the new Star Wars movie in the theater! You both slept in the same room, played from morning till night and practiced kissing (more often than we think David liked!). Happy New Year to you! And all of us.

November 2015: 62 months (5 years and 2 months old)

Dear Patrick,

• On Sunday 11/8, Mark Vehorn was in town and had dinner with us. You ate quickly and then asked me if you could be excused from the table. With a nod, you jumped out of your chair and pointed two fingers at your father and Mark. “I finished before both you guys!” you declared victoriously. Your dad could not stop laughing about that for two days.
• I found a tiny, toy turtle in the front pocket of my jeans on 11/6. This must only happen to those who live with a five year old.
• “Look at my new kicks,” you told your friend Ella at school, showing her your shoes when I dropped you off in the morning. The brand is Merrell so you’ve also been calling them “m-kicks.”
• At your first hockey game, Pop told me that you were more interested in the folding seats than the action on the ice.
• You will give me a back-rub by crawling on my back on your hands and knees and it’s actually pretty good.
• Phinneas and Ferb is your favorite TV show lately. You and your Dad sing the whole theme song out-loud together.
• You paired a red turtle-neck shirt with khaki shorts on 11/10. Your dad said to you that morning, "It takes a self assured guy to pull off that look, pal." Especially since you call your shirt a duck-neck, which I love and don’t want to ever correct.
• You are hot natured - you don’t want covers or really clothes in general. And you really dislike a hot pillow.
• On Wednesday morning 11/11, I asked if you and Elephant slept well. “You bet we did!!” you answered. I swear you are the most positive person on the planet.
• “I know everything,” you told me on 11/13. I said that, yes you did know a lot, but you still have a lot to learn...especially about humility.
• “You can go home now,” you told me after I helped you get your bike up the to the top of the hill. You wanted to ride bikes with your Dad - just the two of you.
• You went to your first Gamecocks game and in the cock-a-boose outside the stadium and seats on the 50 yard line. You came into the house chanting “USC Go Cocks!”
• We went to the neighborhood block party on Saturday 11/14 at Community Tap. There were some older kids throwing the corn hole bean bags at each other and you jumped right in and played with them. When the game turned to chase, you ran fast like lightening and kept right up with them. You called them both “bro.”
• “I don’t mind the breathing treatments, Mom - I’m like a green Darth Vader,” you told me on 11/17.
• You pronounce the word mirror as “mir-ra.”
• After 100 games of baby lizard this month, your dad and I have decided that you are more bossy than creative, and its time to push back. We can pretend too - without a script from you.
  
• You have some sweet break-dance moves.
• Thanksgiving this year was pot-luck style. Biggie made smoked turkey and brought it to our house along with a cranberry cheesecake. Gangie made the mac&cheese and I did the dressing. Your Dad made sweet potatoes and brussel sprouts that had everyone loving brussel sprouts! Sal and Tom and Nana and Papa also came, and it was a really nice time gathered around the long table together. 

October 2015: 61 months (5 years and one month old)

Dear Patrick,

• You have so many different shirts in your dresser, but you consistently pick out the plain, short-sleeved, white Hanes undershirt to wear most mornings. Its your go-to of choice.
• The “sun” from the solar system decorations we had hanging in your playroom after your birthday party fell from the ceiling. So, you, Spence and JP busted it open to make a “cave.” I’m not sure how safe it was to allow a rubber globe to cover small children, but you took turns and entertained yourselves nicely.
• Elephant’s voice and Dino’s voice (and pretty much all the friends in the house) sound very similar.
• I went to El Paso and Juarez to visit Michael with Omi on 10/8 - 10/12 and when I got home, you and Dad picked me up from the airport in a NEW car! I loved seeing you pull your seat belt off and smush your face against the back windows, unable to open the child lock, but so excited to see me. Once we finally did hug, you told me: “Mom, this car has voice controls!” And you proudly showed me how they worked by yelling from the backseat, “Car go fast!” The car totally understood you and picked up speed. (No help from Dad - wink). 
• Sometimes you lay in the bathtub and pretend to be a starfish.
• On 10/15 you won a green stripe on your karate belt. You can also walk like General Grievous on all fours so you are inherently full of talent.
• Your dad fixed the brake on your bike and it is so much easier to ride now. (Never mind that we’ve just been telling you to pedal harder these last few weeks - ooops!) You like to take your bike for a ride after dinner while its still light.
• You told me one morning (in a whisper) when you came to snuggle in bed that you are "The King of the Lizards." I looked at you propped up high on a stack of pillows and thought, yep, you sure are.
• It’s getting so much colder in the mornings this month. You still want to wear shorts (and that white Hanes) but we compromise by having you wear long pants and putting shorts in your school bag.
• The night of 10/17, you crawled into bed with us at 4:30 in the morning. It never occurred to me to check the actual time on the clock because you never get up early. But upon waking slightly, your father asked if the bunny clock was up and you declared in an exasperated tone, “Well, he will just literally never ever get up!”
• On Thursday 10/22 you said, “It’s like I’m some special creature - I can see in the dark and I can walk backwards.”
• We put the worksheets that get sent home with you from school on the kitchen island so that when you have breakfast the next day, you can tell us about your efforts. I like to hear how you figured out the puzzle or why you picked a particular color. (As a side note: you like to color each thing a separate color - like one sleeve of a shirt red and the other blue. For a while you only used two colors and now its as if you have discovered the rainbow.) Once we acknowledge the worksheets - your Dad and I don't feel so bad throwing them away. I did, however, save one exceptionally good drawing of a landscape that you created on your own and put it on the refrigerator.
• You’ve gotten into your chores list this month. If you: brush your teeth, get dressed, clean your room and feed the pets, you get 50 cents for the day. The glass jar is filling up fast! And you mark off items with big X.
• You love playing the “Dad/Daughter” game in which you are the parent and I am the child... (but the child still has to do an awful lot to help the parent.) Your father finds this game very confusing.  
•  You were a Storm-trooper for Halloween and looked awesome. We walked up and down Earl Street and bumped into friends along the way. Kids raced between houses for as much candy as possible with their parents following behind just trying to keep up. However, your dad and I had to push and prod you ahead. You just move at your own pace. And then when your candy bucket was about half way filled, you said in a tired voice, “Ok, Mom, one more house and then I’m done.” You know your limits.
• The morning of 10/27 you heard the word “counsel” on the radio and asked what it meant. I told you it was to give guidance, advice and help. Wanting to show you understood, you chimed in, “Yeah! Like giving a map to find treasure.” Um. okay. maybe? Well, you don't need any map from me, Patrick. You are a great treasure.