March 2015: 54 months (4 years and six months old)

Dear Patrick,

• Your favorite thing that I brought you back from Los Angeles was the lotion bottle from the hotel. It is not hard to impress a 4.5 year old.
• You’ve woken a few times with nightmares this month. I listen to what scared you from your dream, and then together we find a way to “change it in your mind.” We re-tell the scary parts in a way that makes you laugh, which usually involves a toot or poop in the new storyline. I think your ability to “fix” a fear yourself makes you feel stronger, and your special gift for creativity just makes it easy.
• With the guest bed across the street, we created a playroom for all your toys, using two tall bookcases and a large open area to play, which works quite well. When Millie and JP come over - we toss you all in there and try to keep the chaos contained.
• Your dad created “nature walks” after dinner, which basically means that we walk around the block. You have a lot of rules on these walks: you lead, no stepping on cracks and you educate us on bumblebees and other nature you see. Your father and I usually end up carrying important crystals (otherwise known as rocks), leaves, weed-flowers and sticks, as you instruct, but we try to strategically drop as much as possible on the way back home.
• The other day in the car on the way to school you told your dad that he “forgot to hydrate your skin.”
• Your Biggie found a small blockage in his heart that did not require surgery this month, but he is going to work on diet and exercise so he can stay around for a long time to play with you.
• The “I am” game you invented is fun. You think of someone and give one clue, which is the best part of this exchange: kisses the top of your head - Pop; matzah snacks - Omi; smells good and leave lipstick - Gangie; takes you swimming - Biggie; tractor ride - Tom; helped you find worms - Charlotte; calls you squirt - Dad; lives in New York - Sonny & Katie; gave you Eagle McClesky - Bunky; let’s you help feed the dogs - Jennifer; wrestles on the bed - Jono; is your brother/cousin - Jack.
• “Ninjago” and “Spacer Racers” are two new shows you love to watch on TV this month. Sometimes those stories get incorporated into the personal stories you tell, and its no wonder its sometimes hard to follow your train of thought.
• You have a renewed interested in “Boo-Hoo Baby” book, which has been our personal bedtime story at least a five times. You occasionally like to pick a book you know by heart and “read” it to your guys. Its beautiful to hear your voice carry in the dark to the living room as your Dad and I listen to you talk to an audience of lovies.
• After the bunny clock in your room tells you its time to get up, I look forward to hearing your footsteps running down the hall to our room. You come to our bed and fall back to sleep - always in the middle. I deliberately set our alarm later so we all get some good snuggle time, which is the best way to start every day.
• At an early Easter egg hunt at the Satterfield’s house on Sunday afternoon (3/29) you filled your basket and then with a “whew” sat down next to me in the driveway. “There are more eggs, Patrick - I see some over there and there,” I said pointing as other kids scramble to get as many plastic eggs as possible. “Nah, I’m good,” you said. Happy and satisfied with your winnings. I appreciate how you just seem to know your own drum beat.

February 2015: 53 months (4 years and five months old)

Dear Patrick,

• For dinner on Wednesday 2/4, I asked you to eat the veggie ravioli I made that evening.  You made a throw-up sound after it was in your mouth. Either you dislike veggie ravioli or that was really good acting. 
• Conversation you had with your Dad when he picked you up at school on Monday 2/4:        

Patrick: Can I have three tic-tacs, Dad? 

Dad: You can have two. 

Patrick: Can Owl have one? 

Dad: No, owls don’t like tic-tacs. 

Patrick: He says he does. 

Dad: He doesn’t, Patrick. I’m sure. 

Patrick: Owl says he is sad. 

Dad: Oh, Owl isn’t sad - he is happy for you because you got two tic-tacs

Patrick: (Pause and in a quiet voice) He isn’t THAT happy for me. 

• You play rhythm and pattern games with us like you are a human Simon, and you are really good. 
• The first ice of the year came the evening of Monday 2/16. You stayed home from school on 2/17 and went to play at Sharon’s house on 2/18. Then snow came the next week on Tuesday 2/24 and again on Thursday 2/26. Its been an icy, cold month. 
• Elephant is home! Your father found him behind the television cabinet in the living room (as he was in the process of disconnecting our cable this month but I digress.) There was a knock at the front door and there he was hanging on the mailbox waiting for a hug.  
• Michael came to town this month from Juarez! He loved seeing his house across the street for the first time, but loved seeing you more. He brought you a present from Russia and when you opened the box you said, “oh matryoshka” like Russian nesting dolls were a part of your everyday life. 
• One of my favorite conversations we’ve had this month was when you pretended that Owl was a bat. “He sleeps during the day and is awake at night,” you informed us. Your father said, “that is called nocturnal.” You thought about this fact for a moment and then said, “Well, I sleep at night and am awake during the day, so I’m turnal,” which is obviously the opposite of NOT-turnal. How smart.

January 2015: 52 months (4 years and four months old)

Dear Patrick,

• I knew I had on mom-goggles when I heard you describe, "pee shot out like a bow and arrow" and I thought to myself, “Wow, Patrick is an amazing poet. That was a great simile.”
• We noticed that there are some words you say incorrectly, but I don't want to correct you because it makes us laugh.  For example: “sad light” (satellite), “hand cups” (handcuffs, which in the context of Legos do, in fact, look like hand cups), “light Bob” (light bulb). Light Bob may be my favorite because its as if all objects should have a first name...why not, right?
• After school one day, you collected and then lined-up across the front of the island counter in the kitchen: the peanut butter jar, a spoon from your drawer, nilla wafers and a plate, and then with a satisfied clap said, “Let’s get organized.” That's MY boy - yes, let’s do it! An organized snack is the best kind of snack.
• I volunteered you for another VisitGreenville ad (see image above) because you are a great model and I like to bring you to work. You are getting so big that Ramsey Photoshopped some length off your legs!
• On 1/11 you announced that you would like to put yourself to bed - alone; you didn’t need any help. Your father and I watched from the kitchen, where we were told to stay, as you stood on bear to turn on your sounds, turn off the overhead light and a smaller night-light glow took its place. Then you closed the gate so Coop couldn’t come in and cracked the door, using lion as a brace, which is the standard procedure. We couldn’t see you as you fluffed your blanket and tucked in the bottom and sides, but your Dad mimed your motions knowing (without seeing) what you were doing in the routine we do most every night. Almost immediately, the significance of the moment washed over me as I realized you didn’t need us (for bed, at least!) and I was a little sad, but mostly very, very proud of you.
• You still like to pretend to eat the strawberries printed on my PJs. That never gets old.
• Apparently in the hand-washing line at school one day, William and Landon (who were standing on either side of you as the group waited for their turn at the sink) were “fighting” over your friendship saying, “Patrick is my best friend...no Patrick is my best friend.” So, you turned to Mrs. Betsy and said in an effort to settle the discussion, “My mom is my best friend.” Well, you got that right!  Betsy told me this story knowing I’d love it.
• I put lotion on your face after bath one night and you said, “this hydrates my skin.” Hydrates.
• Coo-coo, the realistically-painted, plastic lizard, who looks remarkably real has scared me this month. You play with him and then leave him around the house in various places, making me want to call Terminex.
• "Patrick, are you playing with your toys or putting them away like I asked?" I said to you as I heard the motorized car do wheelies in the office. "I'm testing my car to make sure it works - but I'm not playing" you explained.
• The idea of family movie night is something we developed this month on Fridays, so I researched appropriate movies for four-year-olds, finally settling on “Monsters Inc.” Even though it got great ratings, I worried that the idea of monsters might scare you -- so I spent a lot of time throughout the film pointing out how nice the monsters actually were. Despite my efforts, however, you woke in the middle of the night screaming with fear. I ran down the hall to your room mentally preparing to rationalize the monster angle and asked your tear-stained cheeks what was wrong. “The little robot boy” you cried. What? You mean, the one moment of one very, tiny, little scene at the very beginning of the movie that had nothing to do with monsters at all?! Seriously.  
• A better choice for movie night was your Dad’s suggestion of “The Lego Movie,” and now you both have become “master builders” by taking apart the kits and building your own trucks and planes. In truth, your Dad usually creates the vehicle and then you come running to show me what “you both” constructed. Between Christmas and some extra kits we bought for this rainy month of January, you are amassing a great collection of Legos. And now "Everything is Awesome" song is permanently stuck in my head.
• Omi came to help get the house across the street ready for Uncky Bunky next month and one morning over breakfast she complimented you on how polite you are. “I always say please and thank you...except when I forget” you told her.

December 2014: 51 months (4 years and three months old)

Dear Patrick,

• You told me that when you are a grown-up, you can chew bubble-gum. I love in your four-year-old mind that adulthood is defined by gum.
• I like obsobservations you've made this month: Noticing that you were both dressed in blue sweaters, you said to your father one morning, “Dad, we are a couple of cool dudes.” And then another time when I asked if you had to go to the potty, you replied, "No, I just like holding my penis." Another time, I walked into the kitchen and you were laughing to yourself as you sat eating your breakfast at the island. When I asked you what was funny, you said, “Rivers said zucchini at school” and continued to chuckle like an old man with great memories.
• You’ve started to do this little click sound (or maybe its more of a smack) with your mouth in between thoughts when you talk.  When you get excited, there is a lot more smacking.
• I attended a neighborhood “traffic calming meeting” at the beginning of the month, and I’m making note of it now in your letters so that if/when a speed bump occurs on Northwood Ave, you will know that your parents had a hand in making it happen.
• We got an advent calendar for the first time this year and now you eat chocolate for breakfast.
• Your Dad took you to the doctor to get your four-year-old shots this month and when I asked you later that day how it went, you told me that you were “sad brave,” which is the most perfect description.
• I went to a holiday party this month for work and wore the jingle bell necklace you made last year at school. When I picked you up later that day, I told you how every time I looked at my necklace it made me think of you. You said, “Mom, every time I look in the sky, I think of you.” So, I asked what about the sky made you think of me, and you simply said, “love.” I hope I -- always and forever -- remind you of love.
• “Its time for bed,” you announced for yourself after Rescue Bots one evening when your father and I were still eating our dinner at the table and failed to look at the clock.  Is it hard being a perfect child?
• Your dad and I wore your handmade Christmas reindeer and tree hand print sweatshirts, which you made last year, to my holiday party at work and we were a hit. A tradition has been created.
• Dr. Kena gave you a timer after your dentist appointment and you LOVE brushing your teeth until the blue sand has run through the hourglass.
• One evening over dinner, you sang “Angels We Have Heard On High” in tune and with perfect Latin pronunciation. It was beautiful.  
• You picked our Christmas tree this year - well, okay, honestly, your father and I steered you in the right direction -- to the ones that would actually fit in our house.
• Sonny, Katie, Jono, Jennifer and Jack all came to Greenville, highlighting the holiday with Legos, socks galore, Pick-up-Sticks, fighting with your uncles, “Nobble” card game and great food!  And this year, cousin Jack does everything you do - he is a little copy-cat and seems to worship his older cousin. You received a bat-mobile and a jet transformer from Santa, which were the two items on your list and you seemed very happy!  A great Christmas.

November 2014: 50 months (4 years and two month old)

Dear Patrick,

• You came into our home office after your bath on 11/3 and asked what I was doing.  “I’m typing a few notes about you,” I said and explained that Dad and I like to remember things about you that we share with the family. “Tell the people that I like to snuggle with my mom,” you instructed.  So here you have it, people.
• Occasionally you will say things like, “Pretend I’m eight years old and I’ve lost two teeth.” If you are wondering how one plays along, you basically say something like, “Hello eight year old Patrick - it looks like you lost two teeth.”  And that the extent of the game. 
• NPR words this month - you asked about: “Washington,” “blades” and “Obama.”
• We attended your Thanksgiving Day program at school where you sang songs with the other kids on stage, showed your belly and - when it was your turn with the microphone - told the audience that you were thankful for “pie.” Earlier that morning at the doctor's office, you had been diagnosed with an ear infection so you would interrupt the program (mostly between songs) to find me on the front row of the chapel and ask when you could take your medicine. “Now, Mama?”  “No, baby,” I’d say in a loud whisper, “not now - keep singing.”
• I love how you walk so carefully with scissors - just like we taught you: very deliberately, two hands, the tool outstretched like it was a trophy - very slowly and with such focus. 
• Your father went to New York with your uncles Jono and Sonny, and I went to Los Angeles this month for work -- so its been the month of travel.  
• Together we traveled to Macon for Thanksgiving Thursday through Sunday at the end of the month. Dinner at Natalia’s, shopping, Omi and I worked on Michael’s house and we got Payton, the babysitter, for you so that your Dad could relax a bit too. Oh, its nice to see you so happy at Omi and Pop’s house. One of my favorite moments was leaving the Hope’s pizza party Saturday night and the whole group of adults (most of them strangers to you earlier that evening) all stopping their conversations to wave as you shouted “Good-bye Everybody!” at the top of your lungs. It was like that scene from The Sound of Music when the Von Trapp kids go to bed and the entire party sings goodnight to them. You are a charmer, my boy, loved by everyone who meets you.

October 2014: 49 months (4 years and one month old)

Dear Patrick,

• On Wednesday 10/1, I took a video (of the video monitor in our room actually) of you talking in bed before sleep. You do this often and we love it. I wanted to get some of it on film so you could one day hear yourself - you are just so creative and funny. This particular night you were a pirate and eagle was your first mate. Speaking of “your guys” we seem to have lost Elephant - that rascal - but hope he will turn up soon.
• I took a picture of you that will appear in a print ad for Greenville running in four magazines next month.
• When making coffee you said of the milk frother and Nespresso that, “these machines are friends - they work well together.”
• Your uncle Jono came to town Thursday 10/2 and then again on Saturday 10/4, and you loved it!  “Let’s fight,” you’d say when asking your uncle to wrestle on the bed or couch. This was also the first time in history that you asked for someone other than your parents to read you a book before bed (with us here!). And when you woke in the morning, you went straight to Jono’s room to snuggle and tell stories. We let you be late to school that Friday - just so you could have some extra time together.
• You have so many bumps and bruises this month it’s almost alarming. And the fact that you and Rivers decided to slide your foreheads across the carpet at school resulting in a serious rug-burn, doesn’t help.
• We shared a babysitter with the Satterfields on Saturday 10/11 so that you, Sylvie and Maeve could stay home and play while all the parents went to Fall for Greenville, and it was a huge success!  You wanted to sleep in “your room” (the guest room with us on a mattress on the floor), which Sylvie didn’t like because she wanted you to sleep with her but eventually she accepted, and it all went smoothly according to the sitter. You did talk in your sleep - the first time I’ve ever heard you do that and it was so funny! You shouted, “Rock and Roll” in the pitch black middle of the night, which made me laugh and your Dad very proud. 
• You ate a turkey sandwich with lettuce and mayo for the first time on Sunday 10/12. You helped your Dad make it, and then decided to eat it. Hooray for additional food options!
• After putting you to bed the evening of 10/15, I found Duckie in the living room and since I knew you were still awake because I could hear you talking in your room, I decide to bring Duckie to you. There you were: sitting straight up, back against your pillow with the blanket drawn and a book wide open on your lap. “I’m reading to my guys,” you told me. It was dark, but your style of reading doesn’t actually require seeing the words. Since then, you’ve read a book to your guys almost every night.
• You are very agreeable. If you ask to do something and we need to modify your request slightly to make it acceptable (like no to ice cream for breakfast, but how bout we do that later tonight after dinner) - you almost always go along. I don’t know if all children are this “easy” but you seem to be very open to compromise. “Okay!” you say with enthusiasm as if it was your idea.
• When I sit at the dining room table, you like to pretend that I’m a slide and you climb up my back and into my lap in order to slide down my legs to the floor.  It works particularly well when we are both in PJs, and you want to do it over and over again.
• Pumpkin carving was really exciting this year with you - you looked forward to lighting both pumpkins on the porch.
• We treated you to a lemon icy from the artisan cart nearby Roost Friday 10/24 after you finished your dinner. Since we were sitting outside and had a view of the large plaza area from our table, we allowed you to venture alone and thank them. You ran down the restaurant steps and around the fountain, and when you got to the guys, we watched you give them both a high-five.  Then you just hung out for a while talking like you were old friends.
• I had my kidney stone surgery this month and Omi came to Greenville, which was a HUGE help in more ways than I can ever type!  During her time, she told this one story of taking you to TJMaxx where in the process of purchasing a very cool “Crane Truck” the cashier talked about being tired and working late that night. Then apparently as you and Omi were walking away, you stopped, turned around and yelled back to the woman behind the counter, “I hope you sleep well.” Yep, that's my boy - always listening, always aware and always thinking of others.
• I heard you tell your father, “Let’s watch the guys on TV cook something - like shrimp. I like shrimp.” Your Dad asked, “Have you ever had shrimp?” “No,” you answered, “but I know I like it.”
• Gangie made you the proud owner of a big Bumble Transformer, which you LOVE. He is a legit member of the family eating dinner with us and reading your new Highlights Magazine that came this month from Aunt Jen and Uncle Jono.
• The entire bowl of Halloween candy was stolen from our front porch this year. Later that evening when some other kids came by our house asking for candy, you offered YOURS and held out your hard earned bucket to share!  You volunteered to give strangers your candy. You have a very sweet heart, Patrick.  

September 2014: 4 years old

Patrick, my sweet four year old...

• There are two freckles on your right leg. You named one dot “Fred” and the other dot “Freckle.” 
• You have adopted River’s “night-night” way of tracking time. You still have no real concept of “today” or “tomorrow,” but we do seem to be making progress on the days of the week.  I have explained that breakfast is in the morning and lunch in the afternoon and dinner at night (so many times!) and you still confuse meals.
• Sometimes you blame your body parts to deflect attention from yourself. “Hand did it,” you’ll explain to me, as if your hand isn’t attached or a part of you at all.
• You sing a little song to your father that makes him laugh. The tune is nothing I can type - just a soft, quiet “do-do, do, do, do-do…” (I hope I don’t forget it...!)
• You are allowed to pick a book to read before nap, but lately you’ve been prone to changing your mind. So I explained to you one day that words have real meaning and that you should think very carefully before you talk. After a lot of back in forth, I told you that it was time choose: you could pick this book to read, which was in my hand, or nothing. Without a moment of hesitation you declared, “Nothing!” That meant, of course, you were going to bed without reading and upon that realization, you became upset. “Patrick, you take a moment to collect yourself,” I told you calmly and walked out of your room. (It didn’t matter to me if you were angry or asleep over nap time as long as you were in your room.) But I wasn’t gone more than 2 mins when you called out, “Mama, I’ve collected myself now.”  And then you asked to read the book.  “No,” I said. “You made that decision already.  Remember - words have meaning.” You sighed heavily and climbed into bed. With your head on the pillow, not even looking at me, you said very thoughtfully - almost to yourself, “Mama...sometime I talk before I think, but I’m working on that. I’m really working on that.” (In the dark, I could have been talking to a forty year old man.) After kissing you goodnight, I called your Dad and Pop right away to tell them about this exchange. You are wise beyond your years.
• You love mint chocolate chip ice cream.  You eat a small bowl every night as we watch Curious George before bed.
• You pretend the metal steamer is a spaceship and fly it around the house.  One afternoon, you said “Oh, its too small - I can’t fit in there.”  So I told you to just pretend you were small enough to be inside the spaceship strainer, to which you replied, “I can’t, Mama. I left my imagination at school.”
• You love learning about inside the body - you ask to see pictures of bones and blood cells and germs. I brought you home a medical illustration book from the office and you poured over it, muttering “oooh” and “that’s complicated” to yourself.
• Around 11:00pm on the evening of 9/11 when you should’ve been sleeping, I heard you cry softly over the monitor.  I went into your room to check on you and your cheeks were wet with tears. I asked you what was wrong. “I can’t...I can’t...I can’t control my blood” you told me with such sadness. Trying not to laugh, I explained that the wonderful thing about our heart is that it is so smart and it controls and moves our blood inside our body all by itself. It seemed to reassure you enough to go back to sleep.  
• On the morning of Wednesday 9/17 as I was dropping you off at school, your teacher Mrs Betsy told me that you listen very well.  She offered this observation all on her own, and said we must work with you at home.  Betsy said that sometimes none of the other kids in the class look up (much less make eye contact) when she talks, but you do regularly.  Listening - true focused listening - is a really important skill to have, and I’m very happy that we can help you practice now. I hope you will have an easier time understanding, comprehending, following through when you are older -- not to mention making the people you’re talking to feel heard, which is a gift in itself. I’m proud of you.
• Your fourth birthday was defined by Home Depot, your own personal P-Byrd logo and a transformer costume that you only take off long enough to cool down, and then ask for help becoming “Bumblebee” again.

All my love, sweet Bumblebee.